Thursday 30 August 2012

Tritina for Clara


Clara liked to slip on her pyjamas of the palest pink
after a long day in court. She craved the sleep
that called her, from the four-poster bed, beckoning soft.

Refreshed from her sleep
she breakfasted on grapefruit, not ruby red, but pink
and brushed her hair until it was soft.

Dusting powder onto rosy cheeks so pink
pouting in the mirror as Chanel lipstick caressed lips so soft
she winked at her reflection, glad she’d had a good night’s sleep.

She drove off, all sweet, sleepy pinkness, in her black Mercedes SL.


Copyright Suzy R 2012

More props to the dVerse team http://dversepoets.com/2012/08/30/form-for-all-on-tritinas/ for setting such interesting poetic tasks. This poem is a tribute to the glorious poet Marie Ponsot.

9 comments:

  1. interesting....i like how you were able to write a story within the form...i like how you play her character out as well....a little high class for me but...haha....

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    1. The form helped me to pull the story along, but you are right, Clara is quite a lady ha ha

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  2. I loved the character that you created here and the surpise at the end...the drive off in the Mercedes! I laughed aloud, which is a good thing! Smiles.

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    1. Hey Mary, glad she made you laugh, I think you may hear from her again!

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  3. A very well-done character sketch. It's interesting the way you used the deviation from the expected end-words (SL) in the tritina to underline details that reflect strongly on the character. Well done!

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    1. Thank you for your kind and generous comments, I did steer from the path somewhat ~ story of my life ~ pleased you appreciated the rationale. I enjoyed this approach and will certainly try this form again in future work!

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  4. I love your take on the tritina form, creating a character and telling something of her life. And the ending wasn't quite expected - another good thing in my opinion.

    Tony

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  5. Like Sam I was intrigued by your variation from the form. The texture of the words provided a paradoxical creation of the ultra feminine lawyer who works in world as hard as steel and precise as a black Mercedes. I've worked with lawyers and I think this is very accurate.

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  6. great to see you today...hope you are having a great weekend

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